When I read the Bible, I will frequently gloss over odd names and places, figuring that the significance would be obscure to me. But recently, while reading in Amos, my curiosity was piqued when I saw a reference to Bethel, Beersheeba, and Gilgal. "Hmmm. I know what happened in Bethel; I wonder about those other two places." So I looked them up.
Bethel was the place Abram built an altar and worshipped God when He promised to make Abram's decendants too many to count. Beersheeba was where Abram's son, Isaac, built an altar and worshipped God when He promised Isaac that He would be faithful to His promise to Abram (Abraham). Gilgal is where Joshua built an altar of 12 stones from the Jordan river when God caused the water to stop flowing so that the Israelites could cross over into Canaan on dry ground. These places are icons in the Israelites' history- places they would go to remember the great faithfulness of their God and to worship Him.
The passage in Amos was chapter 5 verses 4-6: Seek me and live; do not seek Bethel, do not go to Gilgal, do not journey to Beersheba. For Gilgal will surely go into exile and Bethel will be reduced to nothing. Seek the Lord and live.
Because I know that other passages in Amos are dealing with empty acts of worship that anger and repulse our God (Amos 5:21-27), I know that here, He's saying, in effect, that traveling to our "holy places of worship" for the mere sake of doing so, without truly seeking His face, an intimate relationship with him, is worthless. There is no power in empty acts; the power to live is found only in seeking God and a relationship with Him!
"So what does this have to do with marriage," you say? Well, in my The Politically Incorrect Wife book, they encourage wives to act how they want to feel and reassure them that eventually the feelings will follow- a behavior referred to in 12 step programs as "Fake it 'Til You Make it", I'm told. I understand that this philosphy has worked wonders for some people and I guess that's fine. It's just that I believe that this kind of empty behavior can anger a spouse just as it angers God. I want to caution wives that if you follow this line of thinking that your heart has to really be in it- it depends completely on your motive. If the acts have to be done without the feeling, it has to be because you desperately want the feelings! If the behaviors or empty actions are performed out of a belief that "all he (or He) needs is my action here (i.e.: an escort to the door in the morning, a welcome home kiss, obligatory participation in sex, OR attendence at church, cursory "and bless so-and-so" intercession, mouthing the words to a Vineyard song while wondering where the lady in front of me got her sweater...) then the behaviors are detrimental and will lead only to death. God says "seek me and live". Seek is an action verb. Take action with a goal in mind. Search high and low. Pursue. That's what God wants.... and I believe that's what your spouse wants.
That's just what I'm thinking, but I could be wrong.
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5 comments:
You sure spend a lot of time studying the Bible! Have you read any of the Bhagavad-Gita or the Koran?
Well Allsion, have you been hiding in my home again??? I have before thought, even prayed, "Lord, I'm going to act in "such 'n such" way even though I don't want to, and I pray that you will actually put the genuine desire in my heart to act in the way I'm faking it". And that of course has to do with subservience/control issues. Thank you Allison. This blog today was something I needed.
I of course as most others have contemplated this issue much. I too have heard many say that it worked wonders. I wonder what they think wonderful is? I wonder if my wonderful is something different? I wonder if there is something in my life that is keeping me from having the actions first work wonders? I wonder if some spouses even care if it is real or not.
I think that sometimes it is just easier for some to put on their mask then to make themselves vulnerable to genuinely change(easier to act good then to be good).Life is not easy, but it sure is better if you hand control over to God and let him change you.
By the way-I like your blog!
It's scary to me that for so many years I had no problem with this way of thinking! Then Rod started to point out to me the difference between "acting" and "being". I would say that the marjority of people "act" instead of "be". Unfortunately, I find "being" more difficult than "acting" and I know I'm not alone! But "being" is definitely more fulfilling!
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