What's Your Soundtrack?

Last night as I was driving home from Wally-world with groceries (at ten o'clock at night), I was listening to the public radio program, "Echoes". The music playing was like background music. There really wasn't any meat to it and it seemed quite trivial. The pathetic thing is that as I was listening to it I thought, "if my life had a soundtrack, I believe this would be it." It was a gay little ditty, light and soothing. It would have made nice "hold" music.

I recently picked up a daily devotional by Henry T. Blackaby and Richard Blackaby based on the book Experiencing God. What I read this morning was about "vision". They discussed how vision drives the way we live. I've seen it; I know you've seen it. Vision statements everywhere, work, church, self directed goals. When we can visualize what we'd like to look like, we can set a course for achieving that goal.

The NIV states it this way: "Where there is no revelation, the people cast off restraint; but blessed is he who keeps the law".

And the Message says it like this: "If people can't see what God is doing, they stumble all over themselves; But when they attend to what he reveals, they are most blessed."

I know it best in the KJV: "Where there is no vision, the people perish, but he that keepeth the law, happy is he."

As I pondered this, I was also reading in Jeremiah 12. And God says to Jeremiah (who is complaining about why the bad guys always seem to win and he always gets in trouble when he does something bad), that if he's whipped by running with men, how on earth can he expect to run with horses? In other words, if you can't play with the big dogs, stay on the porch.

Life is tough. I have friends going through really awful, painful and scary things right now. I continue on in my life, getting caught up in the craziness of it all and it brings me down. What it may be is that perhaps we have all lost the vision of exactly who our God is. Because without that vision, we perish. It says so right there in the Bible. Without a clear vision of what God is doing and who He is, we see the chaos, the defeat, the bad guys winning and we feel hopeless. When is the last time I stopped and really tried to grasp who He is and what He's up to? And if I could only do that, wouldn't my outlook change? Wouldn't I be more likely to be able to run with the horses? Wouldn't the soundtrack be different?

When I went running today, I turned on my beastly red i-Pod (as my kids refer to it) to a little known group of artists called apt.core. They're not my usual fare for running, in fact, I believe this is the first time I've listened to this particular album. The first song was a very powerful piece called, "No Such Thing as Time". The only words are, "I AM the alpha and the omega, the beginning and the end, the one who is, who was, and is to come. Almighty." The next piece simply quotes the first four verses of Psalm 19:

1 The heavens proclaim the glory of God. The skies display his craftsmanship. 2 Day after day they continue to speak; night after night they make him known. 3 They speak without a sound or word; their voice is never heard.^[a] 4 Yet their message has gone throughout the earth, and their words to all the world.

God has made a home in the heavens for the sun.

Psalm 19:1-4 New Living Translation

I think it's time for a new soundtrack.

In Pursuit of Perfection

On Decemeber 1st I wrote about how disappointed I am in myself that I continually sin. On December 2nd, Oswald writes about what I'm supposed to do with that. How does he do that?

He instructs (as my wise husband has done so often) that it is a snare (a trap set by Satan himself) that I pursue "the manifestations of God in my life" rather than a relationship with God. It's what Rod calls the "trap of morality". I work and work and work at having the fruit of the Spirit. I strive to be sinless, to never make any mistake, to never hurt anyone's feelings, be late, or irresponsible. It's a call to an impossible life; it's a call to death. Exactly the opposite of the life Christ called me to.

Christian perfection is not, and never can be, human perfection. Christian perfection is the perfection of a relationship to God which shows itself amid the irrelevancies of human life.

-Oswald Chambers

To me, this translates that the impossible to acheive human perfection is not and should not be my goal. Instead, my goal must be a communion with God that is so close, so transparent, that all anyone who looks on it sees is God. Not only does that sound do-able but I long for it. I'm not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. (Again, really, really thankful for Paul! -Philippians 3:12)

Being Real

It used to be I'd wait in the car during Molly's dance lesson, using the time to catch up on Bible study or Oswald. Since the time change it's been too dark so I've been sitting in the tiny lobby at the desk. Last week I got distracted by some older girls from an earlier class discussing why they weren't dancing with the junior company. I was impressed to hear them say that because they were Christians, they refused to dance for the company because they were required, as company members, to dance in the annual production of Dracula. I encouraged them and told them about Patty Graham and Lauren LoPresto who have a worship dance company open to the public.

This week, I was desperately needing some time alone with my studies when a grandmother (whom I see every week but don't interact with much) brought her dinner to the desk and began questioning me about what I was doing. (It's a very small desk... getting smaller).

How do you wrap up 9 weeks of incredible study on revival for a total stranger? How do you tell them that life is not life, but rather death, without an intimate relationship with God?

She told me that she was raised Catholic and that the whole concept of a personal relationship with Jesus was a fairly new concept- something that has only been "pushed" for, say, the past 15-20 years. She said that she learned many of the concepts I was mentioning (honesty, humility, repentance, holiness, grace, obedience, clear conscience, and forgiveness)in catechism. I told her I understood about catechism because I had gone through it as well (although not raised Catholic). I shared with her that all catechism taught me was that there was a holy God to be feared but nothing of His interest in me personally. Sure, He wanted to redeem mankind but He probably had no clue that I even existed. I shared with her that I really had no use for that kind of religion (or God, for that matter). She looked a little shocked that I would be so bold (or maybe disrespectful) to toss out religion like that but I meant it. She asked me where I went to church.

I don't know if she saw any Jesus in me or not. I hope so. She said, "Nice meeting you," when I left. All I know is that when I see her again I hope we'll talk more about this "new" concept of a personal God and relationship with Him. I've never really been able to talk freely about a truely intimate relationship with Him to other people, mainly because only recently has He become more than just an aquaintence. It wasn't until He rescued me from the pits of despair and held my hand as He walked through the really scary, yucky stuff of life that He became "real" to me. And now I'm "real" to Him as well....and you know what happens when you're "real", don't you?

I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand. John 10:28