Monday, November 07, 2005

From Mourning to Morning

I just tried to read 5 days of Oswald. I hate it when I do that. I guess this means that I've gone 4 days without comtemplating much about God. I don't go 4 days without food, or sleep. Why do I think I can go 4 days without contemplating God? I must believe that contemplation on God is not vital to life. I don't suffer physical pain when I don't contemplate God. But I suffer. And I don't realize how much until I begin again to ponder who he is and what he's wanting from me. Then when I look back on the past 4 days, I realize how empty they were. And I mourn.

Today, Oswald was cautioning me to "never think it strange the circumstances (I am) in. (My) part...is...to utilize the common-sense circumstances God puts (me) in and the common-sense people He puts (me) amongst by His providence, to bring them before God's throne and give the Spirit in (me) a chance to intercede for them." And I mourned again. I wondered how many times in the past 5 days I missed being a conduit for the Holy Spirit because I did not utilize the circumstances I was in or lift the people I was around up for God to bless. How many people did not receive their blessing because I was busy being self-absorbed?

Come on, Allison! Get outside of yourself! It is not just I who suffer when I abandon God but all the people who God places in my path. This is bigger than me; it's bigger than you. This is more of that abundant life. This is what Church is about: relationships- not just vertical, but horizontal as well.

So my appologies to any of you out there that didn't get what God had planned for you when I was busy being selfish. I'm back and awfully thankful that God is gracious, merciful and forgiving. And tomorrow morning, I'll start fresh.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm so proud of you. You are trying so hard to do what you think is right . Keep it up. I'm praying for you.


Jack

Anonymous said...

No need to apologize Allison. Just knowing you and knowing that you have your friends in prayer as you always do, is one of the many, many ways the Lord has you working for Him.Must admit though that I love hearing what Oswald has to say and the message today was a good one. Maybe this week at B&N you can help me pick out one of his devotional/journal books that has been on my "to do list" for some time now. Thanks for blogging today :)

Anonymous said...

Girl, you rock!!! I love the way you put it into perspective!! I just want to jump up and down and shout! He is an awesome God and is right where we leave Him. We are blessed to be in His presence and in the presence for others He wishes us to interceed for!!!