We flew out Friday evening. The flight was great. Rod navigated us around the airport in Dallas like a pro. (I’ve always been afraid to try to travel by myself because I don’t think I could navigate through the airport, pick up baggage, rental car, parking lots…scary!) The hotel is beautiful. There’s a modeling/talent convention going on so there are beautiful young people everywhere you look, with doting, fretting parents just behind. We joked that Rod should go mingle in a sexy shirt that showed off his muscles and it might pay for our trip! We dropped in, unannounced, on some friends who took us to a great Indian place for lunch. Shopped for some concert duds and then found our venue.
The concert was phenomenal. We were on the floor, standing up, in what seemed a pretty far back place. But the stage came out into the crowd in a ½ circle type runway (the VIP people were sitting inside the circle part of the stage). When Bono walked out on the catwalk part he was only about 10 feet away from us! It was all so much larger than life!
They opened with City of Blinding Lights from How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb. Then went on with Vertigo. It was 2 hours of U2 at their finest. They played all the best and greatest (except Gloria and Grace). They pulled a guy out of the audience just in front of us who had a sign that said, “I can play!” They gave him a guitar and he picked the song (One of the only ones I didn’t recognize- Angel of Harlem). Bono pulled a girl out of the VIP section and hugged her all the way through With or Without You. They ended with a worship set: Yahweh, All Because of You, and 40. Afterwards, Rod got a concert shirt and bought us all ONE “livestrong” bracelets. It was an incredible night and a totally awesome show; one I will never forget.
The best part was the company.
Thanks, Babe.
Sunday, October 30, 2005
Thursday, October 27, 2005
Calling All Warriors!
It's 10 PM and all is not quite well. It's been a rough week with two school projects due and consistent cable outages (consistently out when your kids need it most!) We leave tomorrow for a trip I've been counting down the days for for almost 7 months. We had all the fine details worked out and all we had left to worry about were the "what ifs". That was until all h--- broke loose (at least some of it anyway!)
We've sensed for some time now that we have been under attack so I guess it's comforting, in a way, that I'm starting to recognize the master demon's techniques. Unfortunately, it seems he is getting a little more bold these days. Our babysitter for the weekend has come down with a terrible illness and it seemed that there was no one else to whom we could trust our little ones. I've been angry that he would attack an innocent bystander, just to get at Rod and me. We'd been sending up profuse prayers over this but kept running into dead ends. Finally, today, (less than 24 hours before we were to leave for the airport), things started to take on a more positive shape. No sooner had I breathed a sigh of relief than I curbed my tire on edge of Will's piano teacher's driveway and slit a hole big enough for my fist through the rubber wall. Just then a black cat ran across the road in front of us. I yanked Molly out of the car and we began the short trek down the road to her dance class. As she jumped out of the road to the grassy edge, I had to pull her hand to keep her from landing on a dead, black crow. "Calling cards," I thought.
Molly and I prayed while we walked passed the Salvation Army and talked about how God can turn bad things into good things for those who love him. She's learning how God can be trusted to come through, even in the black stuff. I'm learning too. But I'm also learning my attacker's signature. I recognize his finger prints all over and I'm bolstered by the recognition.
Great warriors, like good coaches, study their advisaries prior to confrontations. I am to do no less. Somehow I feel like I can handle all these "unfortunate events" when I know who's behind them. There are less feelings of "why me, Lord?" and more of "Come on, God; let's go get him!"
Never-the-less, I sure would appreciate a little help from you prayer warriors out there! It's always a good strategy to fight together, as a circle of friends.
We've sensed for some time now that we have been under attack so I guess it's comforting, in a way, that I'm starting to recognize the master demon's techniques. Unfortunately, it seems he is getting a little more bold these days. Our babysitter for the weekend has come down with a terrible illness and it seemed that there was no one else to whom we could trust our little ones. I've been angry that he would attack an innocent bystander, just to get at Rod and me. We'd been sending up profuse prayers over this but kept running into dead ends. Finally, today, (less than 24 hours before we were to leave for the airport), things started to take on a more positive shape. No sooner had I breathed a sigh of relief than I curbed my tire on edge of Will's piano teacher's driveway and slit a hole big enough for my fist through the rubber wall. Just then a black cat ran across the road in front of us. I yanked Molly out of the car and we began the short trek down the road to her dance class. As she jumped out of the road to the grassy edge, I had to pull her hand to keep her from landing on a dead, black crow. "Calling cards," I thought.
Molly and I prayed while we walked passed the Salvation Army and talked about how God can turn bad things into good things for those who love him. She's learning how God can be trusted to come through, even in the black stuff. I'm learning too. But I'm also learning my attacker's signature. I recognize his finger prints all over and I'm bolstered by the recognition.
Great warriors, like good coaches, study their advisaries prior to confrontations. I am to do no less. Somehow I feel like I can handle all these "unfortunate events" when I know who's behind them. There are less feelings of "why me, Lord?" and more of "Come on, God; let's go get him!"
Never-the-less, I sure would appreciate a little help from you prayer warriors out there! It's always a good strategy to fight together, as a circle of friends.
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
I've Got Readers!!!
When my husband gave me my blog site, I wasn't exactly sure what I would do with it. I am not a deep thinker and theologian like him. I'm not poetic. And I'm a little shy about sharing my thoughts. I worry that I'm wrong and I don't handle conflict or disagreement well! I never thought I'd be excited that someone other than my husband had read my site. But this morning when he told me that I'd had visitors and that they even left comments, I was thrilled! This could get addicting!
And God said, "Imagine how thrilled I am when you read MY stuff and comment!"
And God said, "Imagine how thrilled I am when you read MY stuff and comment!"
Sunday, October 23, 2005
Friday, October 21, 2005
Waiving My Rights
"Give it to God"
"Just hand it all over to the Lord"
"Let go and let God"
Cute little Christianese for something I have never really been able to accomplish. I have given Jesus my life, my hurts, my sorrows; I have handed them to him; I have laid them before him; I have requested he take them; And I have thrown them at him. Sorry...it never worked for me. I always remained holding my stuff and wondering what on earth I was supposed to do with it!
Then one day Oswald created a new view for me. He said I cannot give Jesus something that is not mine to give and that the only thing I have that I can give is the right to myself. Now, for some reason, that made sense! It seems too abstract to say I need to give Jesus my life. I NEED my life so I can live! How do you give someone your life? But to give Jesus the right to myself...that I understood!
I could see what giving Jesus the right to myself looked like. For instance, I have the right to feel pain when someone behaves in a careless or selfish manner towards me. I have the right to feel negative feelings towards them. I have the right to live my life the way I want to live my life...it's my life. But to give up the right to that pain; to give up the right to those negative feelings; to give up the right to live my life in a mutually selfish manner. Now that was sacrifice! But it was something I understood!
As I sat there and let it all soak in, I began to offer my right to my pain to my Lord. And Jesus took my pain, and felt it, and had compassion on me. It was compassion unlike any human compassion I had ever experienced. He called me his child and wept for me. He bound up my wounds with his tender love and I knew then and there that I had a friend that would stick closer than any brother. This is the kind of compassionate Lord that I can give the right to myself to. I can give him my right to live my life for me. I actually want to. I would give him anything. But truth be told, all I have to offer is my right to myself...and for now, that'll have to do.
"Just hand it all over to the Lord"
"Let go and let God"
Cute little Christianese for something I have never really been able to accomplish. I have given Jesus my life, my hurts, my sorrows; I have handed them to him; I have laid them before him; I have requested he take them; And I have thrown them at him. Sorry...it never worked for me. I always remained holding my stuff and wondering what on earth I was supposed to do with it!
Then one day Oswald created a new view for me. He said I cannot give Jesus something that is not mine to give and that the only thing I have that I can give is the right to myself. Now, for some reason, that made sense! It seems too abstract to say I need to give Jesus my life. I NEED my life so I can live! How do you give someone your life? But to give Jesus the right to myself...that I understood!
I could see what giving Jesus the right to myself looked like. For instance, I have the right to feel pain when someone behaves in a careless or selfish manner towards me. I have the right to feel negative feelings towards them. I have the right to live my life the way I want to live my life...it's my life. But to give up the right to that pain; to give up the right to those negative feelings; to give up the right to live my life in a mutually selfish manner. Now that was sacrifice! But it was something I understood!
As I sat there and let it all soak in, I began to offer my right to my pain to my Lord. And Jesus took my pain, and felt it, and had compassion on me. It was compassion unlike any human compassion I had ever experienced. He called me his child and wept for me. He bound up my wounds with his tender love and I knew then and there that I had a friend that would stick closer than any brother. This is the kind of compassionate Lord that I can give the right to myself to. I can give him my right to live my life for me. I actually want to. I would give him anything. But truth be told, all I have to offer is my right to myself...and for now, that'll have to do.
Thursday, October 20, 2005
Soaking in God
You know as a wife and mother I do a lot of laundry. I love the soak cycle. That's when the noisy washing machine takes a break and suddenly the tension in the house lightens a little as you realize you didn't realize how noisy that machine is! Just before the soak cycle is a great pouring out of torrents of water all over the clothes. The sound of the rushing water can drown out the telephone ringing, three children screaming, and a miniature schnauzer barking all at once. Then there is the steady agitation that makes sure there is nothing settled in the tub at all. All this chaos and stirring up. All this unrest. Then the peace of the whole process resting, sitting quietly still... soaking.
Today Oswald was talking about placing ourselves to soak in God, and, being a mom, my mind immediately went to the laundry room! He was discussing how the busyness of life so often gets in the way of a personal relationship with Christ. Busyness...it's every mom's number one enemy against really getting to know who God is. (OK, it's MY number one enemy!). Sure, our "overactive energies" are so often for good. Toting kids, creating school projects and family dinners, serving in church and striving at the gym...all for good reasons. But all the antithesis of the soak cycle.
During the soak cycle we breathe in the detergent filled water that finds the dirt, lifts it away and penetrates our souls with the clean, fresh, Living Water. And here, we learn to allow God to pass through our stain filled lives and we come out on the other side clean, refreshed, renewed... ready for service.
Soaking is also essential in woodworking so I'm told. I believe Christ was particularly fond of woodworking. Wood soaked in water becomes moldable and pliable. Molded into the shape God needs. Pliable so that it doesn't break or snap under pressure.
Soaking is what tree roots do. Lifting nourishment from the earth to the limbs that lift in praise towards heaven.
Soaking is what bathtubs are for...resting...warm...vulnerable yet secure...I like the soak cycle.
No, I can't stay in the soak cycle forever; just like the washer goes on to agitate some more and then spin. The spin cycle sometimes frightens me (I think my washing machine has become possessed and is going to march right out of the laundry room and eat me!) But maybe if I soak enough, I'll come out of the spin cycle not only unscathed, but brighter and more beautiful than when I went in.
Today Oswald was talking about placing ourselves to soak in God, and, being a mom, my mind immediately went to the laundry room! He was discussing how the busyness of life so often gets in the way of a personal relationship with Christ. Busyness...it's every mom's number one enemy against really getting to know who God is. (OK, it's MY number one enemy!). Sure, our "overactive energies" are so often for good. Toting kids, creating school projects and family dinners, serving in church and striving at the gym...all for good reasons. But all the antithesis of the soak cycle.
During the soak cycle we breathe in the detergent filled water that finds the dirt, lifts it away and penetrates our souls with the clean, fresh, Living Water. And here, we learn to allow God to pass through our stain filled lives and we come out on the other side clean, refreshed, renewed... ready for service.
Soaking is also essential in woodworking so I'm told. I believe Christ was particularly fond of woodworking. Wood soaked in water becomes moldable and pliable. Molded into the shape God needs. Pliable so that it doesn't break or snap under pressure.
Soaking is what tree roots do. Lifting nourishment from the earth to the limbs that lift in praise towards heaven.
Soaking is what bathtubs are for...resting...warm...vulnerable yet secure...I like the soak cycle.
No, I can't stay in the soak cycle forever; just like the washer goes on to agitate some more and then spin. The spin cycle sometimes frightens me (I think my washing machine has become possessed and is going to march right out of the laundry room and eat me!) But maybe if I soak enough, I'll come out of the spin cycle not only unscathed, but brighter and more beautiful than when I went in.
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
The Freedom of Obedience
I have recently had two very significant experiences with sin in my life. This is significant for someone who has often wondered what sin looks like and how to recognize it. I don’t mean that I’m perfect. I mean that I really wasn’t exactly sure what sin looked like in my life. I had asked God to show me but maybe I wasn’t ready to see it. Maybe I was blinded with pride. (This is another blog for another day!) Anyway, God has been merciful enough to show me at this point and it has been a much less frightening experience than I thought it would be. I guess I always thought that having sin exposed in my life would be horrendously painful. That I would be so moved to repentance and remorse that I would tear out my hair, starve myself for days and shred my clothes. Honestly, not something I was too interested in experiencing. But when I learned for real the loving character of my God and how it would be inconsistent with his character to bull whip me, I found that when I responded to revelation of sin in my life with real repentance, it actually led to this amazing freedom that Jesus talks about (John 8:31)!
My first revealed sin was when a friend asked me for help in a family emergency. I offered the needed help and promptly turned to another, mutual friend to ask for prayer for this first friend. When I realized (not until the next day….I’m a slow learner) that I had broken the first friend’s trust, I called her immediately and offered a confession and called the second friend immediately to request that the information not be shared any further. Luckily, the second friend was very trustworthy and assured that everything would be fine. Whether the first friend forgave or not wasn’t really the point. I had humbled myself before my God, confessed my sin, LEARNED SOMETHING, and did what He asked me to do. This obedience was incredibly freeing. Imagine never having a friend mad at you again because you couldn’t be trusted with confidential information! Imagine the non-existent wounds that would no longer need bound by me learning how it breaks my God’s heart when I sin in this way. Imagine the feeling of having everything right with my God, my maker, my redeemer!
My second revelation was concerning something similar. God shared Matthew 18:15 with me so that I would know that it was sinful to share how someone had hurt me before going to that person with the hurt first. I guess I’ve never been good at recognizing sin in anyone’s life. I always thought that if I got hurt by someone else that it was because I was in the wrong place at the wrong time or that I was somehow at fault. Other people don’t sin against me! What would make me so special that someone would or could sin against me? No, I was just being overly sensitive! But then I would find another friend and share with him or her exactly how so and so had hurt me. They would offer sympathy, I would feel better but a splinter had been buried deep into the original relationship. The wound would fester until the relationship was permanently damaged and neither of us would have any idea what happened. God does not want our relationships to be injured in this way. He commands us in Matthew 18:15 to go to the offending party, present the fault to him or her alone (so that it is JUST BETWEEN THE TWO OF YOU) and attempt to solve it in this way. Well, when I confessed this behavior to my very best friend in the whole world, he was hurt, yes, but he was touched (I believe) by my confession and he forgave me. It will take years and years to clean all the wounds. But imagine the freedom I have experienced knowing that I’m not going to create any more splinters to fester. That if I do, I can quickly confess and remove it before it becomes infected.
God is really merciful. He knew I’d mess up in these ways and he knew how to prevent it, he knew how to fix it and he provided a way. These two steps of obedience were like a baby’s first steps for me. They were difficult…the whole confession part. But they have been exciting! And although I am disappointed in my sinfulness, I don’t really feel that tearing my hair out is the answer. Confession and repentance are much easier and much less injuring! They are actually very freeing and I praise God that He provided a way like this!
My first revealed sin was when a friend asked me for help in a family emergency. I offered the needed help and promptly turned to another, mutual friend to ask for prayer for this first friend. When I realized (not until the next day….I’m a slow learner) that I had broken the first friend’s trust, I called her immediately and offered a confession and called the second friend immediately to request that the information not be shared any further. Luckily, the second friend was very trustworthy and assured that everything would be fine. Whether the first friend forgave or not wasn’t really the point. I had humbled myself before my God, confessed my sin, LEARNED SOMETHING, and did what He asked me to do. This obedience was incredibly freeing. Imagine never having a friend mad at you again because you couldn’t be trusted with confidential information! Imagine the non-existent wounds that would no longer need bound by me learning how it breaks my God’s heart when I sin in this way. Imagine the feeling of having everything right with my God, my maker, my redeemer!
My second revelation was concerning something similar. God shared Matthew 18:15 with me so that I would know that it was sinful to share how someone had hurt me before going to that person with the hurt first. I guess I’ve never been good at recognizing sin in anyone’s life. I always thought that if I got hurt by someone else that it was because I was in the wrong place at the wrong time or that I was somehow at fault. Other people don’t sin against me! What would make me so special that someone would or could sin against me? No, I was just being overly sensitive! But then I would find another friend and share with him or her exactly how so and so had hurt me. They would offer sympathy, I would feel better but a splinter had been buried deep into the original relationship. The wound would fester until the relationship was permanently damaged and neither of us would have any idea what happened. God does not want our relationships to be injured in this way. He commands us in Matthew 18:15 to go to the offending party, present the fault to him or her alone (so that it is JUST BETWEEN THE TWO OF YOU) and attempt to solve it in this way. Well, when I confessed this behavior to my very best friend in the whole world, he was hurt, yes, but he was touched (I believe) by my confession and he forgave me. It will take years and years to clean all the wounds. But imagine the freedom I have experienced knowing that I’m not going to create any more splinters to fester. That if I do, I can quickly confess and remove it before it becomes infected.
God is really merciful. He knew I’d mess up in these ways and he knew how to prevent it, he knew how to fix it and he provided a way. These two steps of obedience were like a baby’s first steps for me. They were difficult…the whole confession part. But they have been exciting! And although I am disappointed in my sinfulness, I don’t really feel that tearing my hair out is the answer. Confession and repentance are much easier and much less injuring! They are actually very freeing and I praise God that He provided a way like this!
Sunday, October 16, 2005
weaving
What color you’d become is hard to tell
When first you chanced upon a purple flow
Though certain in yourself, you’d heard the knell,
Still woven there within - the orange glow.
Perhaps it wasn’t something seen by most
Who want with army drab the world embue.
The white clone-capped and khaki cladded host
Wish everyone were clad in some plain hue
The warp and woof beneath the dresses blue
With ruffles, lacy petals, blooming fleur
The roundy, naveled, citrus fruit still grew
With dimpled skin, and radiant allure.
Though orange may be purple-color-blind
The purple heart will always orange find.
When first you chanced upon a purple flow
Though certain in yourself, you’d heard the knell,
Still woven there within - the orange glow.
Perhaps it wasn’t something seen by most
Who want with army drab the world embue.
The white clone-capped and khaki cladded host
Wish everyone were clad in some plain hue
The warp and woof beneath the dresses blue
With ruffles, lacy petals, blooming fleur
The roundy, naveled, citrus fruit still grew
With dimpled skin, and radiant allure.
Though orange may be purple-color-blind
The purple heart will always orange find.
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