Saturday, February 19, 2011

Changes and Chances



Today I stumbled upon a blog of a friend's. She journals almost every day of her life with her now one year old little girl. It made me realize that it's been a really, really long time since I blogged. I miss it. I miss the time I used to have to sit and ponder life and process it all for reflection. Something happens in your 40's and life picks up speed. Doesn't seem possible that things could be faster in your 40's than in your 30's but it's true. Right now there seems to be a flurry of wings scattering dust and feathers and somehow, I believe that when the wings stop beating and the clouds settle there will just be Rod and me left in the nest.
Yesterday, our eldest son turned 19. He's a freshman and already 1/2 moved out of the house. For the first time in 19 years, I wasn't responsible for furnishing his birthday cake... a friend of his took that honor.
Monday, our middle son turns 17. He's spending more and more time with friends and less and less time at home. Tonight he made dinner with friends- "Amazing Pasta". I had left over spaghetti. Not amazing.
Today, Molly auditioned for residential high school in Greenville. Residential equals no longer living at home.
While Molly auditioned, I worked on a chapter of a book for Bible study. The author was discussing emotions and cautioning us to not let ourselves be ruled by our unruly emotions. But somehow, that's not what I took home from the chapter. She wrote about women who blame their unpredictable behavior on hormonal surges like those surrounding peri-menopause and such. And in that section, she quoted Francis de Sales:
Do not look forward to the changes and chances of this life in fear: rather look to them with full hope that, as they arise, God, whose you are, will deliver you out of them. He has kept you hither-to,-do you but hold fast to his dear hand, and he will lead you safely through all things: and, when you cannot stand, he will bear you in his arms... The same everlasting Father who cares for you today will take care of you tomorrow, and every day. Either he will shield you from suffering, or he will give you unfailing strength to bear it. Be at peace then, and put aside all anxious thoughts and imaginations.

You know, I don't think I've ever looked forward to the changes and chances of this life in fear. Maybe most women do. It seems that so many books, magazine articles and even sermons seem to assume that we women are terrified of the "changes and chances of this life". They warn us of how terrible it will be when our babies leave for kindergarten and how awful it will be when they shun us as tweenagers. How they'll outright hate us when they're true teens and how devastated and lost we'll be then the nest is "EMPTY". Even St. Francis of de Sales warns us that we may need "delivered out" of our "changes and chances". But what if you don't? What if "changes and chances" are actually synonymous? Why on earth would you want to be delivered from chances? Maybe society (and God forbid- even modern day Christianity) tells us we should be fearful of all that but to me, it just doesn't make sense. Yes, I've devoted 20 years so far to growing up kids. And maybe all that's getting ready to change. But honestly, I'm looking forward to the chances the next 20 years brings.
Hopefully it's more time to do things like Rod and I did today... and maybe even more time to blog!

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