Walking in the Dark

I once read a true story in Guide Posts about a young girl who was driving her car early in the morning and when she went around a bend in the road, she was blinded by the early morning sun. She continued on her path, hoping to stay on the road and unfortunately, struck and killed a woman who was getting her mail from her roadside mailbox. The story was written by the woman's daughter and the beauty of the story was how God had given her the grace to move beyond the tragedy and the beautiful relationship that developed between her and her mother's "killer".

That story came back to mind this AM while reading Oswald. He spoke of the blinding darkness that sometimes follows a vision from God. How sometimes, when God tells us He's about to do great things, it seems He actually does nothing and how we are tempted, so often to "do for Him", like Abram did with Hagar. And what a mess it makes. I thought about the tragedy that follows when we set out on our own in darkness- without light to lead the way.

I've been reading in Isaiah a lot lately. There are so many precious gems in that book. And this morning I was blessed with another new favorite: Isaiah 50:10-11

Who among you fears the LORD
and obeys the word of his servant?
Let him who walks in the dark,
who has no light,
trust in the name of the LORD
and rely on his God.

But now, all you who light fires
and provide yourselves with flaming torches,
go, walk in the light of your fires
and of the torches you have set ablaze.
This is what you shall receive from my hand:
You will lie down in torment.

I've always been afraid of the dark. I had to have the hall light on as a child and slept with a night light by my head. As a child, if I woke in darkness, I would immediately become totally still, listening with all my might for signs of danger, of tigers prowling about in the cellar. But sometimes lighting a light in the dark could make it worse. Camp fires can be particularly tormenting, especially if I happen to know there are bears in the area! The way the fire leaps and dances, cracks and pops; the way it makes the shadows dance and things that aren't even real take on frightening shapes. My imagination can really go wild!

But dancing torch fires or camp fires are the limit of our abilities to light the world around us in our own power. With our own wisdom and logic, we create just enough light to make the shadows dance, or even worse, create shadows where real danger can hide. God shows us in Isaiah 50 how Jesus used his ears to listen at these times of darkness rather than make fires that can make things worse. With Jesus as our model, we are to do the same: open our ears and listen to his instruction. He promises us that His arm is not too short to save us, that He does not lack the strength to rescue us. The truly wise will wait and listen in the darkness and rely totally on God to bring them through.

God grant me the wisdom to stand still and listen so I don't make a mess of things today. I'm relying on You.

Old Truck; New Truck

Recently my husband said he hoped it never occurred to me to put him a comparison chart with something else like he did his old truck and his new truck. Seeing as I haven't ever had an "old husband" I really didn't know what I'd compare him to. But the thought was intriguing so here it is, Babe. I just couldn't resist the temptation!



Looks like we both did pretty well!

Dead Trees and Burnt Out Lights

I'm trying to finish taking down my Christmas decorations today. It seems I'm last in the neighborhood this year. Even my next door neighbor (who's always late at taking her stuff down) has beat me this year. It's just hard to do. There's just no excitement in it- it all fizzled out!

We're always a little later at getting our stuff up than our neighbors. Seems like Thanksgiving hits and everyone's racing to beat the other guy to get their stuff up. We usually wait until at least the first or second week of December. Then it's running around every night to light the lights in the windows, on the porch, on the mantel, and of course the tree. In the beginning, the tree gets lots and lots of water. This year, Rod went to water it one day and it immediately spilled on the floor; I had just watered it. Then things seem to taper off a bit. We forget to light the lights one night or more likely, we forget to turn them off. Then they burn all day and, well, we might as well leave them on- it'll be dark soon. That's probably why I need new lights on my porch garlands next year!

It occurred to me as I unwound the burnt out lights from the porch garlands how similar our personal relationships with Christ can be to all of this. How when things are exciting we can stay in tune, how we pray, study, sing, how all of life can be about Him and our relationship. And how once the pattern sets in, the novelty wears off, we can forget, get bored, and simply careless. And maybe I'm only talking about myself.

When I took the tree outside the other day to leave for the garbage pickup, it was bone dry- not a drip of water in the stand. The once full of life, soft needles had become brittle weapons of destruction tearing into my hands and forearms making them bleed. The mess it made was awful- not just the mess on me but on the floor, the porch, the sidewalk...everywhere it went- a mess.

Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers. But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers.
- Psalm 1:1-3

I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you. This is to my Father's glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.
- John 15:5-8

Full Life vs. Peace

Ok! ok! Alright already! I'm back! (It's nice to feel loved and missed!- thanks!)

So, you wonder (or maybe you don't) what on earth has kept me from blogging! And of course, I'd have to say it was a VERY FULL LIFE!! We've had holidays, traveling, kids out of school, company from far and near (which have ALL stayed up WAY past their bedtimes!) We've bought a new ride and boogered it up. I've gotten new insurance and it doesn't work, kids have had basketball, and ballet, and concerts, and doctors' appointments... the list goes on and on! Wow! And this is what I dreamed of when I was little and couldn't wait to grow up?

Really, when I was little, all I ever wanted was to grow up into a "full" life. I thought for life to be full and complete, all I would need was a husband to love me. Then maybe some kids to take care of and love. Of course, I'd need a job that I loved and in which I found personal satisfaction and respect. To get all that (including the loving husband) I had to go to college. There I learned that education was imperative for having a complete life. So after I got married, I had to get even more education. While in pursuit of that, I discovered that a full life really wasn't fully complete until I had a house in which the children didn't have to all share one tiny bedroom and a job that made more money and heralded more respect. I was hot on the trail of the American Dream.

And somewhere in all of that, I crashed.

This morning, while reading in Isaiah, I noticed that Eugene Peterson had translated some of my favorite passages wrong. I've grown up spiritually in the NIV. So when I read Isaiah 26:3, I read that God will keep me in perfect peace if my mind is steadfast on him. And further on, in verse 12, God establishes peace for me. In Job 22:21, I am instructed to submit to God and I will be at peace with him and prosperity (ahh...I like that word!) will come to me. And then back in Isaiah 27:5 I am invited to make peace with God. Ultimately, in Romans 5:1, Paul tells me that the whole process of justification by faith (difficult to understand with just those words) will result in peace with God (that I can appreciate!) But what did Dr. Peterson do wrong? In every instance, he translated the word peace as full life, whole life or completeness. So out of curiosity, I flipped over to the most famous of peace verses: Isaiah 9:6. Was Jesus going to be the Prince of the whole life?!?

And guess what?

I read:

His names will be: Amazing Counselor, Strong God, Eternal Father, Prince of Wholeness!

Now what does one do with that? One goes to the lexicon!

This word is the Hebrew word ~wlX or shalowm meaning:

1. completeness, soundness, welfare, peace
   1. completeness (in number)
   2. safety, soundness (in body)
   3. welfare, health, prosperity
   4. peace, quiet, tranquillity, contentment
   5. peace, friendship
      1. of human relationships
      2. with God especially in covenant relationship
   6. peace (from war)
   7. peace (as adjective)
   -Crosswalk.com

There it was- the number one word in the definition: Completeness. Peace with God is equated to completeness- a whole, complete, full life.

When my world came crashing down around me, I realized that I wasn't at peace with anyone- not my family, my friends, myself, and least of all God. In my struggles to find that full and complete life, I had abandoned all to the pursuit and in it, I lost all semblances of peace. But God is a good God who doesn't forget his children when they stray.

Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed, says the Lord who has compassion on you.
-Isaiah 54:10

And

Can a mother forget the infant at her breast, walk away from the baby she bore? But even if mothers forget, I will never forget you- never. Look, I've written your names on the backs of my hands.
-Isaiah 49:15-16

When we come back to him, we find that he has wiped the slate of all our wrongdoings. There is nothing left of our sin. "Come back, Come back. I have redeemed you," he calls. (Isaiah 44:22). This was his plan from the very beginning. A plan for redemption and reconciliation. A plan for a full and complete life, at peace with him. Why do we have to learn the hard way? Why don't we just listen? It's a fair question: God asks it himself.

If only you had paid attention to my commands, your peace would have been like a river (NIV)

or in Dr. Peterson's translation:

If you had listened all along to what I told you, your life would have flowed full like a river, blessings rolling in like waves from the sea. (Isaiah 48:18)

So there's nothing wrong with a full life. In fact, it's what God had planned for me all along. It's just that I have been faithful to the human way of life, just like the Israelites, rather than faithful to God's way- a way so high and above me that it's beyond my understanding.

I don't think the way you think. The way you work isn't the way I work. For as the sky soars high above earth, so the way I work surpasses the way you work and the way I think is beyond the way you think.
-Isaiah 55:8-9

But when I submit to him and his high and mighty ways, he promises that I'll go out in joy and be led into a whole and complete life (Isaiah 55:12)